I wanna think more about the implications of this idea.
“One of the central elements of resilience, Bonanno has found, is perception: Do you conceptualize an event as traumatic, or as an opportunity to learn and grow? “Events are not traumatic until we experience them as traumatic,” Bonanno told me, in December. “To call something a ‘traumatic event’ belies that fact.””
How People Learn to Become Resilient
“In some cases, children are offered rewards not only for mundane tasks like tooth-brushing, but also for what social scientists call pro-social behavior: things like helping, cooperating, and sharing. Studies have shown that offering children tangible rewards in exchange for caring behavior may diminish future helpful behavior and can erode children’s innate tendency to help others.”
Against the Sticker Chart
Psychological safety – that’s the phrase I’ve been searching for.
“Within psychology, researchers sometimes colloquially refer to traits like ‘‘conversational turn-taking’’ and ‘‘average social sensitivity’’ as aspects of what’s known as psychological safety — a group culture that the Harvard Business School professor Amy Edmondson defines as a ‘‘shared belief held by members of a team that the team is safe for interpersonal risk-taking.’’ Psychological safety is ‘‘a sense of confidence that the team will not embarrass, reject or punish someone for speaking up,’’ Edmondson wrote in a study published in 1999. ‘‘It describes a team climate characterized by interpersonal trust and mutual respect in which people are comfortable being themselves.’’”
What Google Learned From Its Quest to Build the Perfect Team
Recently arrived at a life milestone, and have been reflecting on the friends I keep and the friend I am.
“People who meet as adults don’t tend to get through the 100+ long, lazy hangouts needed to reach a bond of that strength. As time goes on, you start to realize that the 20-year frenzy of not-especially-thought-through haphazard friend-making you just did was the critical process of you making most of your lifelong friends.”
10 Types of Odd Friendships You’re Probably Part Of
Reframing expectations can refresh a friendship.
“The voluntary nature of friendship makes it subject to life’s whims in a way more formal relationships aren’t.”
How Friendships Change in Adulthood
A fascinating discussion about the relationship between conversation and solitude, and all the goodness that comes with actual face-to-face interaction.
“A VIRTUOUS circle links conversation to the capacity for self-reflection. When we are secure in ourselves, we are able to really hear what other people have to say. At the same time, conversation with other people, both in intimate settings and in larger social groups, leads us to become better at inner dialogue.”
Stop Googling. Let’s Talk.
The cost of “shadow work”: being busy without accomplishing meaningful work.
“You only get so much of the fuel that allows you to focus and gives you the mental energy to tackle the world each day. And what saps this fuel is making decisions, weighing options, and exercising self-control. Shadow work requires all three behaviors, and is thus a huge willpower drainer.”
Cool program that acknowledges physicians who put in unpaid, value-added hours for their profession, colleagues, and patients.
“A lot of times you feel that work doesn’t care about you. ‘I’m just doing the grind, and for what? I’m missing out on my family and my life.’ And this program really sets that opinion on its ear.”
Time in the bank: A Stanford plan to save doctors from burnout
There’s a lot to like and to learn from Stephen Colbert’s story – a touching piece that glimpses at his wrestle with difficult times.
“You have to learn to love the bomb.”…The embracing of that, the discomfort of failing in front of an audience, leads you to penetrate through the fear that blinds you. Fear is the mind killer.
Stephen Colbert on Making The Late Show His Own
Uh, so does this validate the technique of hovering around forever until the person realizes they should fall in love with you?!
“If they’d begun going out within a month of meeting, then they tended to be equally attractive physically. But if they’d been acquaintances for a long time, or if they’d been friends before becoming lovers, then someone hot was more liable to end up with someone not so hot.”
For Couples, Time Can Upend the Laws of Attraction